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Lost without you

If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that we make a great team. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without you during the last 12 months, and while other couples have crumbled at the mere thought of spending 24/7 together, I feel like we’ve become stronger.

At the start of the pandemic, I wondered how we’d cope living and working together in our little house while trying to parent our 3-year-old. Yes, we’ve had our arguments, and you do my head in with your untidiness and forgetfulness, not to mention your ability to use every utensil in the kitchen drawer when making dinner.

But I know I do your head in too, especially when I pick apart your grammar every time you post something on social media, as well as my impatience and grouchiness when I’ve not eaten or had enough sleep.

We’re far from being a perfect couple (if there is such a thing), but I think we’ve done well given the circumstances.

Having been together 12 years, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs along the way, which probably helped prepare us for the turbulent 12 months we’ve just had. Bereavement, redundancy, money worries, health worries – we’ve been through some testing times.

Recently though, it feels like we’re just surviving – too exhausted to talk and taking each other for granted. I know I don’t say it often enough, but I appreciate you.

I appreciate having a partner in crime when all I want to do is scoff on biscuits and chocolate.

I appreciate your ability to reason with our 4-year-old when she’s tested my patience to its limits.

I appreciate your stamina at being able to rock our 7-month-old to sleep at silly o’clock when we’re both dead on our feet and you have to work the next day.

I appreciate you being here to help with the bedtime routine, especially now we have double trouble to deal with. If you were still working in London and not getting home until 7pm, you’d probably find me a sobbing wreck when you walked through the door, while the kids wreaked havoc. I take my hat off to the single parents out there; I don’t know how they do it.

I appreciate that I’m not the easiest person to live with, especially when I’m hungry and sleep deprived.

I appreciate your understanding when you ask me what’s wrong and I have no words, so you just hold me, kiss my forehead and tell me everything will be ok.

I appreciate it when you say I’m beautiful, even when my hair is a mess, I’ve not shaved my legs in weeks, and I have baby sick on my jumper.

Thank you. Thank you for being here, thank you for loving me. I know I’m lucky to have you and I know I’d be lost without you.

#teamwork #parenting #maternalmentalhealth

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