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Kids say the funniest things

Kids. They do your head in with their relentless questions. They leave you red-faced when they say something embarrassing in public. Sometimes they talk utter jibberish and you just have to nod along while they talk at you. And sometimes they come out with an adorable mispronunciation that ends up worming its way into your own family vocabulary.

Here are some of my favourites that my daughter has come out with...


Don’t worry, it’s got nothing to do with going to the toilet. It’s actually her word for squirrel! And embarrassingly, I’ve found myself referring to a “weewall” when she hasn’t even been around.


I’ve no idea how she got oaty from elephant but it’s pretty adorable.


Unfortunately, this wasn’t her being extremely advanced for her age and telling us she needed the loo. This actually means penguin. Don’t ask me how she got there. It took us a while to realise this is what she meant.

Pam sandwich

When she first said she wanted a Pam sandwich for lunch, I thought it was a new recipe my mum had tried out on her that she’d got from her friend Pam. Turns out she actually meant ham! She loves Pam. She eats it all the time. She has pink pam (normal ham) and red pam (chorizo). We’re so continental in our house!


This is quite a sweet one really. An umbow is actually an elbow. Cute. I think I prefer her word for it.


I think fluffs is a much better way to say cotton wool balls. It’s less of a mouthful and they are indeed very fluffy. My kid is a genius!


This is one of my favourites. It’s so close to the actual word but just a bit cuter. A namkin is actually a napkin.


Bim sounds nothing like tom, but we knew exactly what she meant when she said: “I don’t like bimatoes”!


Imagine my horror when she first came out with this in front of her carer at nursery?! “You made what??” Most of the time I don’t correct her when she comes out with her own adorable versions of words. But this one I most definitely corrected. “Cupcakes. You mean cupcakes.”


Let me take you back a couple of years. It was my Mum’s birthday. My daughter, then 22 months old, had spent a full day at nursery and hadn’t seen her Granny to wish her a Happy Birthday, so I thought it’d be a nice idea to record a video message of her saying “Happy Birthday Granny” that I could then send to my mum.

It took a couple of takes with her getting camera shy or distracted by a toy before I managed to get a coherent enough message. I made a fuss of her for being such a clever girl and carried on getting her ready for bed.

But on playing it back once she’d gone to sleep, my face dropped at what I was hearing. And the more I listened to it, the more horrified I became.

It didn’t sound like she was saying “Granny”. It sounded more like a word beginning with W that rhymes with anchor. They sound nothing alike?!

How could I send my mum a message that had her granddaughter saying: “Happy birthday w*****?!”

Again, we’d correct her anytime she referred to “granny”. But eventually it evolved into “Wagga” (a slight improvement), and this has affectionately become the name for my mum. Now 4 years old, she sometimes even shortens it to Wag!

Watch your mouth

Even now she’s 4 and can pronounce most things properly, some of the phrases she comes out with are hilarious! I definitely have to watch what I say around her.

She’s a bit of a copycat. But I love hearing her vocabulary evolve.

Kids definitely do say the funniest things.


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